Read Part 1 Here: https://www.sfwordsmith.com/the-cruise-ship-part-1/
Read Part 2 Here: https://www.sfwordsmith.com/the-cruise-ship-part-2/
It is now nearly sunset. I don’t know what has happened to the day. I am stumbling down a set of stairs to the outer portion of a mid tier deck and I rush to the edge of the ship and vomit again overboard.
I don’t think I’ve had too much to drink. This must be food poisoning or something. Maybe its sea sickness. Maybe I’m just a little bitch who cant handle his fucking liquor. Either way, I can’t sustain my consciousness.
I fade once more into the darkness of a blackout.
I wake up in the middle of the night it seems from the darkness which is now outside my cabin porthole. I lay tangled in the blankets next to the girl whose boyfriend went overboard earlier in the day.
Wait, what the fuck is going on and why is this person in my bed, I do not know what is going on, get me the fuck out of here.
I am feeling a little violated right now. And yet, I do feel better than I did before. Maybe the alcohol is wearing off finally, but its been a hell of a day, I can tell you that, and I should definitely put my pants on and get the hell out of here right now before she wakes up and so I start putting on my pants and then I think to myself-
God damnit. This is my cabin.
I don’t want to have to wake up this trifling female who just cheated on her boyfriend with me and is obviously making very poor decisions on a cruise ship thousands of miles away from her homeland seeing how she definitely just fucked me without me even being able to consent. Honestly, in this moment, I am not even capable of mentally unpacking the ramifications of this situation because I haven’t fucking eaten since breakfast and I am operating off of nothing right now. My stomach growls loudly.
I look at her once more, and while yes sir, I must admit, that the universe had bestowed upon me a beautiful woman, I can also admit that I did not even know her name and so I put on my shirt and I buttoned my pants and I just walked straight the fuck out of my own cabin.
I looked to my left, and saw nothing but the interior hall of the cabin deck. I look to my right and I see the guy who nearly drowned earlier in the day walking straight toward me. I immediately turn left because I don’t know this mothafucka and honestly on an empty stomach, I dont know if I could stomach to face that potential problem right now. I make it to the end of the hall and I hit a sharp left and then a sharp right and I bound up the stairs two at a time and make my way to the dining hall.
This interior hallway, headed toward the dining hall, was hardwood floored and I knew that without even looking because I had definitely forgotten to put my shoes on. This is the state of my life right now. I make it to the dining hall and, yup, just my luck, that bitch is locked up. A sign is taped to the window and says “We will be back in the morning for breakfast at 6am.”
I sigh and walk down the hallway, my feet slapping hard against the wood in hungry complaint. And yet, I have found a vending machine. Thank goodness, my luck has finally changed.
Except. I have no change. I have left my wallet in my room, along with my shoes, the brunette, and my dignity, and… even, well, literally, my room- which I have also left at my room. I slam my head against the glass of the vending machine in frustration.
I hear a noise.
Oh my god, I think it just dropped one of those little red bags of cheeze it crackers.
I stick my arm into the bottom of the machine and remove my prize. I fucking earned this. I rip the bag open, grab one of the tiny orange square crackers and pop into my mouth and – yup, thats stale. Thats about right.
I sink to the ground and slam my head against the glass once more, now sitting on my ass with my back against the machine, and yet this time no chips rain down upon me.
I begin eating the bag, but I do not remember finishing it, and without meaning to, I fall into the most pathetic food coma ever.
I wake up as I can hear noise from people near the entrance to the dining hall. It must be 6am. I open my eyes and then see a crowd of cruise staff members surrounding me.
“Sir, are you staying in cabin 415?”
With those words at dawn, it definitely dawned on me how not put together my life is at this moment, because all I could do was to to muster this answer:
“M’aam, I ‘m going to be honest with you, I have no fucking idea what cabin I am staying in.”
